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Today was orientation for my new job, which I am very excited about. This friday will be the last day of my old job, where I’ve worked for over 11 years. 11 years is the longest period that I have done anything in my life, and although I am very ready to move on, there are a lot of good memories and a lot i’ve learned. So to celebrate 11 years, here are 11 lessons I’ve learned from working with dogs.
1. Stay calm.
When breaking up a dog fight, typically you identify the aggressor and separate them from the dog they are fighting. Often the other dog takes this opportunity to get the hell away from the aggressive dog. We remove the aggressor from the play group, and then remove the victim shortly after. We inspect both dogs for possible injuries and take actions necessary regarding those injuries and the behavior of the dogs in question. Both dogs’ owners are contacted.
If the less aggressive dog does not immediately back away, the second playlot staff member restrains that dog, or another staff member who hears the commotion comes on to the lot to restrain the other dog.
During a dog fight, it is common for nearby dogs to become agitated and make things worse. They may just bark, but some will dart in to take pot-shots at the fighters, and a few may even fully commit to joining the fight.
One day, when I had worked here for less than two years, a fight broke out between two large dogs in the play group I was supervising. I restrained one, but the other did not withdraw. I was alone, and nobody seemed close enough to help me. I managed to grab the other dog by the collar (a risky move during a dog fight) and found myself kneeling on the ground, holding two separate, large dogs by the collar, my arms fully outstretched to either side, and both dogs straining to get back at each other. Other dogs were circling us, barking, and snapping at the pair I was holding. I knew that it was only a matter of time before one of the surrounding dogs bit one of these two, and I had run out of hands. I was entering full-panic mode. Then I made the only decision I could make.
I took a deep breath. Then I exhaled. As I exhaled, I pushed all the panic, all the anxiety out of my mind. My heart rate dropped. I completely relaxed. Immediately, so did the dogs. The dogs I was holding stopped straining. The surrounding dogs dispersed. I stood up, calmly walked both dogs to the entrance, where we had a holding area I could place one of the dogs in. I then radioed for someone to come and take the dog off the play lot.
Dogs are extremely sensitive to body language and smell. I 100% believe that by relaxing myself, I sent a message to the dogs that there was no danger, and that they could let their guard down. This technique has helped me get through many stressful moments in my life since. When something bad happens, I try to remember to stay calm, deal with the problem, and freak out later.
2. Constant vigilance is unhealthy.
I have broken us several dog fights, but not nearly as many fights as I prevented. Part of the job is to recognize the signs that a fight might start. Are two dogs too excited about playing with the same toy? Is a younger dog jumping all over an older dog? Are those two dogs staring at each other a bit to intently? In order to prevent the majority of the fights, you need to watch all the dogs constantly. You need to get to know them individually. This means you must be vigilant, constantly. It’s part of the job, but it also happens to be very bad for you.
One of the reasons I know this is because we see how it affects the dogs. Like us, the dogs learn to be constantly vigilant. There are always new dogs being introduced to the group, and the other dogs are on the lookout for how these new elements will affect the group, just like caregivers are. They may be on the lookout for a dog to try playing when they are not ready, or for a dog to take their favorite sleeping spot, or their favorite toy, or their favorite human! They want to make sure that the other dogs don’t get to their food before they do. This causes heightened adrenaline levels, as the dogs prepare for fight or flight, and maintain that readiness for hours. We see many dogs get loosened stool in daycare, and that is just one example of how prolonged heightened adrenaline negatively impacts their bodies. Other facilities keep dogs in a social group even over-night, and I have heard many stories of dogs getting sick from the constant vigilance and lack of sleep.
There are studies that have shown the effects of long-term stress on healing and our immune systems. This is not new information. Seeing it first-hand, in the dogs I care for, just brings it home for me in a way that reading a study doesn’t.
3. Listen.
Dogs tell you what they want and what they don’t want. It’s not always easy to understand, but they are telling you in their own way. Usually the really important stuff is easy, once you learn the language. When a dog doesn’t want you near it, it usually makes it pretty clear. At this point, if you give it your hand and it bites you, you had that coming. Listen to that dog.
I spent some of my years in dog care supervising humans as well as dogs. I didn’t always listen to them. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn’t listen to my staff enough. I lost some good workers because they had concerns that I did not adequately address. I had my reasons. I may have known that my boss wouldn’t have supported the changes necessary to address some of them. I may have been worried about upsetting sore senior staff. For whatever reason, people felt like they could come to me with their problems. I did not prove myself worthy of that trust on many occasions, and I am truly sorry for that.
4. Rip off the Band-Aid.
One of the most valuable lessons I learned from my boss (one that, ironically, she did not always follow) was not to delay the bad, if it’s inevitable. I learned this as a supervisor when practicing my most dreaded responsibility: firing someone. This conversation is not going to end well, no matter what. My early firings, in my inexperience, were long, drawn-out affairs. We began with a discussion of why. “Here is a list of your shortcomings in this position.” The problem with this approach is that it seems more like a performance review than a termination. They begin making excuses or promises to improve. They begin bargaining, hoping for one more chance, but it’s too late. The decision has been made. This makes the ultimate revelation that all their bargaining has been pointless into an insult. That’s when people get mad.
Better, by far, to tell the bad news, the worst news, immediately. Anticipation only makes it worse. There can be no time for false hope, for bargains. The rest of the conversation allows them to express whatever they feel the need to express, and to ask whatever questions they may have. But the outcome is never in question. It sucks, but it it known.
This applies to so much in life. If there is bad news, get it out there right away. That allows for plans for “what now?” to start immediately.
Hiding the bad news is the worst tactic of all. It is unfair and cruel to those who will find out eventually anyway.
5. Trust and respect are more effective than fear.
This is another lesson I learned from the dogs as well as I learned it from my time as a supervisor. In the group, yelling and scolding the “bad dogs” meant that those dogs avoided and ignored you. Bonding and praising those same dogs when they were being calm encouraged them to listen when they needed to, and meant they wanted to be near you, making it easier to intervene when needed.
This applies to training as well. When teaching a dog to do something, making the dog feel safe and making sure they understand the criteria needed to receive a reward creates dogs who are excited to learn, while harsh correction creates a dog who is too scared to try any new behavior.
When supervising staff, harsh punishments and empty threats create resentment. Resentful employees, if they respond to the punishments, do the bare minimum. They do not come in early or stay late. They do not cover each-other’s shifts. Eventually, they will drift back into whatever behavior spurred the punishment in the first place.
Listening to the concerns of staff, giving them clear expectations and responsibilities and rewarding them for going above and beyond creates employees who are invested in the business and care about each other.
6. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
For years I was the first face new clients and dogs spent any time with. I did assessments of incoming dogs to make sure that they fit into our playgroups without causing dangerous situations. We had a whole list of questions and things we were looking for, and each dog was given the same basic test of being gradually introduced to a large group of dogs.
As I mentioned earlier, I have broken up a good amount of dog fights. A good portion of those fights included dogs with some terrier in them, including Jack Russels, Wheatens, and Pit Bull Terriers. Over the years, this meant that when I walked into the assessment room and saw a terrier, my heart would sink as I immediately imagined the worst thing that could happen when I introduced this dog to the group. We do not turn dogs away based on breed, so I go ahead with the assessment with a little more vigilance than I might otherwise. And usually, everything goes great! Sometimes, though, we see some aggression immediately, or after a few minutes with the group, and the assessment has to end.
It’s easy to focus on the fights, and the failures, but if we didn’t give every dog its fair shot, we would have missed out on many of my favorite dogs. I’m glad that we give every dog a chance, even if it means being ready to step in at a moment’s notice and remove the dog before anything bad happens.
Of course, this applies to so much in my life. I consider myself an optimist, because I believe I truly do hope for the best all the time. But I am not unrealistic, and I make sure that if the worst does happen, I am not blindsided.
7. Don’t shit where you eat.
I love a good TV show, but one of the worst things to come from (quality!) TV is how every single workplace is full of people sleeping with each other. I know this isn’t that far off from how real workplaces are, but I wish TV didn’t normalize it so much. Because I will tell you, it is 99% of the time the worst thing you can do at work.
I have seen many workplace relationships among coworkers, and not one of them was a good thing. Two coworkers sleeping together ALWAYS ends up with one or both of them quitting, or getting fired and the other one quits in solidarity, or someone keeping their job long after they should have been terminated. Relationships between an employee and their boss are even worse. It makes it impossible for employees to be treated fairly, and impossible for other supervisors to do their jobs.
When I was a supervisor, I made it a point to avoid even close friendships with employees whose schedules I made, whom I could give a raise to, or whom I could fire. Friendly, but not friends. There is a space between animosity and friendship. Your boss and your employees should live in that space.
Also, lots of dogs actually shit where they eat. It’s super gross
8. There’s not always a right way to do it.
Training new staff is expensive and unpredictable. Any new employee is an unknown quantity, no matter how good the interview was. For this reason, (among others) I avoided terminating employees if at all possible. Is there another department better suited for this person? Another shift? Can they be retrained? There are often many ways to help an employee improve the quality of their work. Unfortunately, sometimes, no solution will work. Usually, this is because they don’t actually want to keep the job, or they are unwilling to compromise. Sometimes there is a situation that cannot be fixed.
After years in the business, that is how I see dog daycare in general. The overhead is very high, both in facility and personnel costs. In order to give the dogs the care they need, it is almost impossible to make money. If your daycare is making good money, that means the dogs don’t get enough play, or the play is unsafe, or both. As a business, I do not think there is a way to run the business successfully without compromising the care of the dogs. Some problems do not have solutions.
9. Fear is destructive.
Most dog aggression comes from fear. This fear comes out in ways that can be destructive to other dogs and people, but also can result in injuries to the aggressive dog, and often do. Fear also causes dogs to climb or chew on fences, injuring themselves in the process.
Training dogs with fear is also destructive. It destroys the dog’s natural curiosity. It prevents dogs from using their natural communication tools such as growling in order to warn us that they are uncomfortable. Fear training can result in dogs lashing out with little to no warning. Anyone who has seen Cesar Milan get bit on his show has seen the destructive power of using fear as a tool. (And he is using fear. “Dominance” and “Alpha dogs” are terms that only apply to people. All he is doing is scarig dogs into submission.)
And fear can destroy a beloved business. Fear of financial failure can result in underpaying your staff so that only the unqualified can stay. It can result in hiring someone who makes promises he can not fulfill. Hiring someone whose methods and ideology run contrary to what you’ve built your business on for fifteen years. Fear can keep you from listening to the concerns of people who have worked for you for over a decade in favor of a quick fix. Fear will destroy any good will you’ve build among the wider dog community before it eventually destroys your whole business.
I wish I was being hypothetical.
10. How to say goodbye
I could count on one hand the dogs that still come in to work who also came in when I was first hired. Over 11 years, I have lost track of how many clients have contacted us with the bad news. I thought I knew loss in my personal life. This job introduced me to hundreds of new loved ones. Now, most of them are dead. I hope I am not jaded. I hope my heart is not hardened. I like to think that it is not.
Leaving this job is hard. There are many dogs that still come in who I love. But there are many more who I already know I will never see again. That makes saying goodbye to the rest a little easier.
11. CAPITALISM IS EVIL AND MUST BE DESTROYED!
Wait, how did this get in here? Oops.