Leaked Avatar 2 Script from an Unreliable Source

It looks like James Cameron has really outdone himself this time. Action, characters, dialogue, this script seems to have it all in just the two pages that by man Jerry Leaks got me. I was really hoping Jake's nerdy human friend Norm was going to be in it and my wishes came true! Check it out:

Transcript:

JAKE

Oh yeah? And what’s that?

NORM

A chronicler? You know, someone who writes down your story so that future generations know what you did for Pandora.

They make their way into an old human warehouse to hide, but the floor quickly gives way and they fall into a dark cave where they’re immediately assaulted by alien rat creature people.

JAKE

Oh okay, sure. Are you gonna start with when we first got to this planet?

NORM

Well I tried, but it just sounded like I was copying a bunch of other stories.

JAKE

Like what?

NORM

“Pocahontas”, “Dances With Wolves”, and “Ferngully” just to name a few.

JAKE

I’ve never seen any of those. But this is real life. Not some story.

The alien rat creature people ambush them and quickly put them in a large cage. They drag their cage further into the cave and push it down a hole.

NORM

Well, it just kinda made me feel weird when I was writing it down. Even though it really happened, I felt very unoriginal.

JAKE

Well, how about writing down the adventure I’m having right now? This seems pretty exciting.

Their cage crashes down into an open area and rolls into a shallow puddle. Jake, Norm, and Spriztrixi are all rattled but compose themselves and try to pull themselves off the ground.

NORM

I did think about that, but when I threw together an outline it just seemed like I was ripping off the movie “All Dogs Go to Heaven.”

JAKE

What? But I’m not a dog.

NORM

No, but there are a lot of other small similarities. Like when you died. Before your body was put in your Avatar body permanently you were in the afterlife dancing with Eywa. You found the pocket watch that represented your life and wound it up bringing you back to life as a Na’vi. Then you found this girl Spriztrixi who can talk to animals and you’ve been exploiting her to win bets on various racetracks. Your enemy Carfacks just chased us into this warehouse and we fell into this watery underground lair where we are being confronted with what looks like a big alien Alligator monster.

An Alligator monster appears. He opens the cage and grabs Jake in his clawed hand. Jake screams with a beautiful melodic tone. The monster is shocked, and stares deeply into Jake’s eyes.

ALLIGATOR MONSTER

Yoooouuu have a beautiful voice, baby!